Mind over me..

Well it has been 3 days that I have been walking on my lunch hour. And everyday I still try and figure out a way to tell my friend that I can't walk with her today. I KNOW I have to get healthy. And I feel great, I am already sleeping better. I am tired at night where before I was not. Food is my issue. I want to cut out carbs and sugar and I did for one day then I snuck it back in little by little each day. I know I don't need it, so why can't I just STOP IT.. I need to control my dinners and the foods I buy. Planning... Pack my lunch..

Back again...

I can not believe it has been so long since I have written anything. My job is crazy busy, my commute, it's long. I have just acquired a carpool buddy which is helping the gas money situation. At $4.20 a gallon I had to do something. I am currently managing several situations in my life, this is the first Easter that I have done on my own. It went well but I did miss the family. But this year I decided to say no to the drama. It started before I even went there so I passed. been catching up on doctors appts, not fun but good to be back at Kaiser. Our living situation is challenging to say the least. You know me, I love everyone, but the lack of respect and gratitude is enough for even me to hold resentment and anger. Not to mention the extra money that is spent its OUTRAGEOUS. I understand it is a necessary situation but....wow I never thought it would be this hard taking care of an elderly parent (in-law). I am excited to see what the remainder of this year holds for me and which doors are opened and which paths I choose to follow..

LOVING LIFE one DAY at a TIME!

You know when you read through your blogs and think.. Wow . I am all over the place.. I can see where I say things because I have to be politically correct (because you never know who is reading  your blog). You include someone, in a nice way, because you have to, so they do not feel left out. Let me do another list right now of what I am thankful for. And this one I am going to be as honest as humanly possible (with out hurting feelings, you know me)
1. I am thankful for wonderful amazing friends. The kind that are there for you everyday.. The kind that you can meet up with after months and months and still laugh and crack up and can just be yourself.. The kind that are brand new in your life that Intrigue you and challenge your thoughts and make you want to be a better person. 
2. I am thankful for Quiet moments and the freedom to say I need a break. 
3. I am thankful for my job and the people that are there that make me laugh and give coy glances but yet you know exactly what they are thinking and you don't even have to ask. 
4. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to learn and have the freedom to become anything I want to be in this world. 
5. I am thankful for incredible music. I had put my CD's away for the longest time. Worried that they might get stolen, then I got them out the other day and WOW.. I missed them and I did not even know it.. I forgot just how much music means to me. I have always known that but hearing all the different kinds I love to listen to Jill Scott, rock out to Creed, NIN etc., scream sing Evanessance, Natalie Merchant.The kind that gets you all hot and bothered, PINK, Enya, Sade, "Favorite Damn Disease" LOVE those the most.. (so hot) .. I just love it and I never want to loose that again. EVER. 
6. I am still thankful for my son and the other people in my life who continue to make it run smoothly, however I am very aware now of the moments of guilt I feel for not being able to spend the time necessary to fulfill relationships completely. 
7. I am thankful for not having to put myself 2nd anylonger. I need to know that I come 1st along with the needs of my son. I refuse to loose my identity again. 
8. I am thankful that I am not materialistic even though some that are close to me try to say that I am. 
9. I am thankful that I am a positive person and that I can always see the silver lining. 
10. I am thankful to be alive and hope I have many many more years.
So this is my note of gratitude that I am sending out into the world. I am greatly blessed and I love life and the people in it. I want to experience everything and I think people cheat themselves when they hold back. there is JOY in every moment if you are looking for it. 
I hope I can be a positive influence in others' lives each and every day~!! 
Make a Wish walk coming up in April. Let me know if you would like to donate so I can tell you how.

WOW.. So long, so much.

I love this color. I don't know why I just do. I was inspired tonight by a blog that I follow called counting blessings. First, I love the way that she has her page set up and I wish mine could do that too. Just not sure how. Second her post was so simple and true it is hard not to follow suit. So I decided to put together a little list of thing that I am thankful for right now:

1. I am thankful for my new job. It is amazing. It is far away but well worth it. I believe that I am there for a reason and I plan to find out why real soon.

2. I am thankful for my very well behaved 16 year old boy. I have heard so many nightmares about teenage life that I was so scared. I love the fact that people comment how well mannered he is and how lucky I am.

3. I am thankful for the family that I have in my life right now. They support me and keep me on my toes. I have an amazing man who takes care of everything that I am not able to due to my commute. I have a sister in law that keeps the adventure coming and extended elderly family that gives me an opportunity to find my inner patients and understanding.

4. I am thankful for a stepbrother to my son that keeps him entertained and can show the meaning of helpfulness just when you thought it was lost.

5. I am thankful for my dog and even my cat too. My dog makes me smile everyday. I love him so much. My cat on the other hand is a bit hard to handle. He used to be such a lover of a cat and now he is quite independent and stand offish. However it makes me cherish our close moments all the more.

Well enough about all that. I am needing to go to bed now. I am trying to go to bed earlier due to an early morning leave time of 540am.. Looking forward to my new beginning next week we shall see. We shall see.

Long Time NO Blog.

Um, Yeah have not blogged in forever... Sorry.. Be back soon. Maybe.. hahaha

Pinning is done.. Another chapter closed. Now for the testing.. Had the 1st class for review and loved it. He is teaching all the things we already know about how to take a test and the process of elimination. Even though you already know this, hearing it makes it really sink in. I think it is a huge accomplishment especially doing this all part time. So, right after my pinning was done and the 1st review class was over I got so sick. I think all of the 2 yrs of work and being over tired caught up with me all at once. I have not been that sick in a long long long time. I am finally feeling better today but I am sore from lack of movement. I slept more than 12 hrs. yesterday and I should have been at work to make up for the time I am missing next week. Oh well, this is my new focus. I am excited and can't wait to see what happens next. This gives a whole new meaning to you can do anything that you put your mind to. Now it is off to read and study and pass this... with flying colors I might add...

WOW now that's a Great Price!!

I must say that I am very happy right about now. There are many things that have come and gone since my last BLOG "rant" ... I am content. I am happy with my situation. I am liking my job again which is pleasant. I have found a way to make it all work. I think it is funny how your mind can just take over and control you. I will be graduating soon from Nursing school (LVN) My exit exam is on the 20th of May. There are times when I will be sitting alone or having a conversation with someone and it hits me. It will actually take my breath away. I will actually sigh or gasp depending on how hard it hits me, to the point where the other person asks me "what? Are you ok?" and I have to answer Yes, I am just amazed that this phase of my life is coming to an end. and in turn that means that another phase begins. Went to placement the other day and turned in my resume and explained to them that I am looking for a hospital job and would prefer Kaiser. I could see that she was holding back a laugh.. I don't care. I am working and getting paid and I plan on continuing to do so. So yes. I will wait for what I want. I will become a nurse and continue to go to school to get my RN... But I refuse to work in a place where there is so much carelessness that patients are double medicated just because the Lazy nurse on the shift prior did not sign off that she had already given that medication. I refused to work in a place where they staff thinks it is funny to spray shower water in the face of someone until they finally scream for them to stop it. And most of all I refuse to work in a place where the Owner , the DON and most of the staff is related. Nope not for me. What I do want to do is make a difference in someone's life that does not have family. I would love to teach.. I would love to work 3 twelve hour shifts and be done for the week to spend more time with my family.

I want to stay in touch with the people that are important to me. I don't want this to be another situation where you spend a couple years of your life with people and then get so busy that you don't have time for them anymore. All the money in the world can't buy the friendships and love that we have. That is what matters most.

I want to stop the video games in the house.. We are doing our children such a dis service. I want to explore the world and the people in it. Oh that reminds me. I wonder if I won the Lotto.. I have a 210 chance out of 7 quadrillion billion... Not bad..